Friday, July 24, 2009

Sorry For the Lack of Posting Lately

I've been really depressed lately and I haven't been in the mood to do almost anything. Even blog, which I love doing. I mean, I've been pretty down all summer, with not being able to find a job and whatnot, but I've been especially depressed this past week and a half. Its mostly because Kody and I have been fighting a lot this past week and a half.

Everything was good after we got back from visiting his parents a couple weeks ago, but last Tuesday we really got into it. I guess he has been stressed lately and was blaming me for everything saying that he wanted a companion and not a child. Basically saying that I was lazy because I didn't have a job and whatnot. He also felt like I didn't find him attractive anymore and that I hated touching him and kissing him. It made me feel like everything was falling apart and that we were soon going to break up. But we made up, like we always do, and he apologized and said he didnt mean all those things and he knows that I'm going through a slump right now and that everything will be fine once school starts in a month.

But I still couldn't help but feel depressed and feel like our relationship was falling apart and that I may be loosing him. Writing about it now makes me sad and want to tear up a little. He is everything to me, my best friend, my rock. I don't know what I would do without him. I've never felt this way about anyone else before, he is my first true love, my soul mate, the man I'm going to marry. But the both of us know we want to be together forever, so we do whatever we can to make things work and to get over our fights because we dont want to be like most couples who just give up.

Since then I've just been so down, and not really in the mood to do anything but its been getting better that last few days. Kody had a day off Tuesday so we rented a couple movies and got some popcorn and ice cream. Wednsday and Thursday we just stayed in and watched One Tree Hill. And yesterday we also went to the Goodwill and picked up a few books. I'm still on the same book I've been reading, but I'm trying to finish it soon. I think things are starting to go back to what they were when we first started dating. Everything was new and fun and its like the spark is starting to go out.

Last weekend was good though, I had fun, and it took my mind off everything, but once I got home that all I thought about again. Last Thursday and Friday we out to the house to see everyone that we haven't seen for two weeks. We drank and had a good time. And then Saturday it was my friend Porcha's birthday so we went out to the club and had a girls night, which was exactly what I needed and it was so much fun. I think this weekend will be fun too. Were gonna go out tonight, like we do every Friday, and see our friends and other than that I dont know what else we will do.

And I did get a new camera charger so hopefully soon I will be posting pictures of my jewlery on my Etsy shop. I can't wait to get it up and running. Kody has also been researching ways to make money and such, and school is starting soon. Everything is going to be just fine.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back! Praying for you that you start feeling better!