Going Home This Weekend

I hope everyone's been having a good week. Mine has actually been pretty good. My depressive state is going away and I haven't had a breakdown this week, so that's good. There has been no fighting with boyfriend since last Friday, so thats wonderful.

This weekend, we are going home because I have a family reunion to go to. Last year I was unable to go because I had just moved back to school and didn't have the money to come home for it. And this will be the first time Kody will meet my extended family. He's already met my grandma and my aunts uncles and cousins, but nobody other than that. My family is kinda crazy but I'm excited for him to meet them.

Speaking of family, Kody got a call from his grandma yesterday saying his grandpa wasn't doing well and he was in the ICU at the hospital. I really hope he pulls through this. I lost my grandpa when I was in 4th grade and Im not that close to my other grandpa, so his grandpa is like another grandpa to me. I hope we have time to go visit him while we are home.

I'm also really excited to go see Harry Potter on Sunday. I haven't seen it yet because every time a new movie comes out I have always gone with my grandma and I don't want to break that tradition just because I'm living away from home now. First I have to rent the last one because for some reason I haven't seen it in two years, since I seen that one in theaters.

I hope I have a good weekend. I think that its going to be pretty eventful. And going home always makes me feel better.

Before I go I want to let you guys know about the newest blog I started. Its a One Tree Hill fan blog that I started on wordpress. I am a die hard and One Tree Hill fan and I've been wanting to start this site for awhile, so here it is. If your a OTH fan I highly recommend you check it out! I'm so excited about it, and I think you'll love it.

The link is http://thegamesthatplayus.wordpress.com

Well, have a good weekend :)

I'm Starting to Feel Better :)

Me, Porcha, and Eden

I didn't take any pictures from my friend's Porcha's birthday out at the club, but my friend Jackie took a few before we left, and I love this picture. This was about a week and a half ago, when I was first starting to feel depressed. I love this picture because I look so happy, which I was happy because I love girl's nights, and just having some fun without Boyfriend. I mean, I love spending time with Kody, but sometimes we need to go out without each other, but its hard, since we hang out with all the same people.

This weekend, though, Kody and I had another fight, on Friday night. Everything was going so well until I caught him outside, smoking. He quit smoking months ago, after he found out his grandma had lung cancer. His mother is also at risk of getting throat cancer because she smokes so much. I was so proud of him for quitting because the earlier you quit smoking the less risk you have of getting cancer. He is only 20 so he hasn't been smoking for not even close to as long as his mother, or what his grandma did. She quit smoking 11 years ago.

But anyway, I caught him outside smoking, when I thought he only took hits occasionally from people at work. He told me he did that, but he would never buy a pack again. So I asked him where he got it from and he told me he bought his own pack. Thats what upset me the most because he told me he wouldn't do that. But he told me he got the pack like 2 or three weeks ago and has only smoke a few from it since then. In my mind, at least he isn't smoking on a regular basis, and he isn't doing it that often, but I was still disapointed in him, and I told him that. So he put the half smoked cigarette out.

My grandpa died of cancer when I was in 4th grade. My grandma is now with a guy, who's she has been with for the past several years, and he has cancer. Kody's grandma had cancer and his mom is at risk for cancer. My grandpa and my grandma's boyfriend's cancer has nothing to do with smoking, but anyone should understand why I wouldn't want my boyfriend so smoke. He's told me that he's quit smoking before but started back up again because he wanted to. I'm scared he's going to start smoking regularly again. And I don't want to lose him to cancer one day. Not only did his grandma have cancer but a lot of her family has died of cancer as well. He said it was breast cancer, but it was cancer non the less.

I know that he could still get some other kind of cancer, that has nothing to do with smoking, but at least his risks are lowered if he doesn't smoke. My grandpa was my best friend and I lost him. Thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I dont want to lose my best friend to cancer, again. Losing my grandpa was the hardest thing I ever had to go through and I dont want to do it again. I want to grow old with Kody and I want him to die an old man. My grandpa wasn't an old man, he was in his 50s.

Sorry For the Lack of Posting Lately

I've been really depressed lately and I haven't been in the mood to do almost anything. Even blog, which I love doing. I mean, I've been pretty down all summer, with not being able to find a job and whatnot, but I've been especially depressed this past week and a half. Its mostly because Kody and I have been fighting a lot this past week and a half.

Everything was good after we got back from visiting his parents a couple weeks ago, but last Tuesday we really got into it. I guess he has been stressed lately and was blaming me for everything saying that he wanted a companion and not a child. Basically saying that I was lazy because I didn't have a job and whatnot. He also felt like I didn't find him attractive anymore and that I hated touching him and kissing him. It made me feel like everything was falling apart and that we were soon going to break up. But we made up, like we always do, and he apologized and said he didnt mean all those things and he knows that I'm going through a slump right now and that everything will be fine once school starts in a month.

But I still couldn't help but feel depressed and feel like our relationship was falling apart and that I may be loosing him. Writing about it now makes me sad and want to tear up a little. He is everything to me, my best friend, my rock. I don't know what I would do without him. I've never felt this way about anyone else before, he is my first true love, my soul mate, the man I'm going to marry. But the both of us know we want to be together forever, so we do whatever we can to make things work and to get over our fights because we dont want to be like most couples who just give up.

Since then I've just been so down, and not really in the mood to do anything but its been getting better that last few days. Kody had a day off Tuesday so we rented a couple movies and got some popcorn and ice cream. Wednsday and Thursday we just stayed in and watched One Tree Hill. And yesterday we also went to the Goodwill and picked up a few books. I'm still on the same book I've been reading, but I'm trying to finish it soon. I think things are starting to go back to what they were when we first started dating. Everything was new and fun and its like the spark is starting to go out.

Last weekend was good though, I had fun, and it took my mind off everything, but once I got home that all I thought about again. Last Thursday and Friday we out to the house to see everyone that we haven't seen for two weeks. We drank and had a good time. And then Saturday it was my friend Porcha's birthday so we went out to the club and had a girls night, which was exactly what I needed and it was so much fun. I think this weekend will be fun too. Were gonna go out tonight, like we do every Friday, and see our friends and other than that I dont know what else we will do.

And I did get a new camera charger so hopefully soon I will be posting pictures of my jewlery on my Etsy shop. I can't wait to get it up and running. Kody has also been researching ways to make money and such, and school is starting soon. Everything is going to be just fine.

A Long Weekend Recap

Boyfriend and I had to go home Wednesday night because we had a funeral to go to on Thursday so I felt like I had a very loooong weekend. So after he got home from work we packed things up and were headed on the road, again. We had just gotten home last Sunday from being home for the 4th of July Weekend. This time around, though, we spent basically the whole time with Kody's family since we didn't see them for the 4th since they were out of the state. We didn't do much Wednsday since we got there kinda late. Kody's little sister wanted to go outside and play with sparkers and poppers that she had left over so we went out and did that. I wasn't really feeling it much because Kody's other sister was also there and I don't think she likes me very much, because she is always talking to Kody about me behind my back, so I feel uncomfortable when she is around.

Thursday I was suppose to go see my grandma before the funeral but we woke up really late and I didnt have time. I didnt get to see her last weekend, either, so I wanted to be sure I saw her while I was back in town. Pretty much the whole thing we did that day was go to the funera, which was Kody's uncle, who passed away from cancer. I didn't know him because Kody didn't see him much. I mean, I just met his dad, a year into our relationship. I almost cried, though, because my grandpa died of cancer when I was in 4th grade so it made me really think about that. Afterwards we went and had food with everyone who went to the funeral. I always like spending time with Kody's dad and his side of the family. I kept joking with Kody's brother, that he was the irriating brother I never had. And the highlight of the day was Kody's dad calling me his "finace." He's too funny. Last time we saw him he was calling me his "daughter in law." After that we went home and ate another full meal because Kody's mom was making steak for us and since steak is like a luxuray for us we couldn't pass it up!

Friday we went and saw my grandma. We hung out with her for a bit before she had to go over to her boyfriends. He has cancer so my grandma always goes over to make him meals and stuff. Before we left I wanted to show her the jewlery I had been making and she ended up buying a pair of earrings and a bracelet. I wasn't expecting that at all. I was just going to give her the earrings, since she liked them so much, but she ended up buying them and another thing. She gave me $20 for both. I'm using it to buy a new camera charger, which I found on Amazon for about $20 (including shipping), so I can take clear pictures of my jewlery and finally get them on my Etsy shop. After leaving my grandmas we went back to my house and my mom's boyfriend ordered some food and we hung out there for a couple hours. We would of headed back to Kody's but my grandma told us about the benifit they were having for her boyfriend so I wanted to stop there and say hi before we went back. That night we planned a night out at the drive in with Kody's mom, stepdad and little sister. Transformers was playing so I was really excited to finally see it. I like it until the end, I started to get bored. The story wasn't as good as the first and the action scenes lasted forever so I just got bored. But Shia looked hot!

Saturday we had to get up early because Kody worked at 11 and we had to make the 1 1/2 trip back home. As soon as we got back, though, I immediatly went to bed. That night we went out to our usually party house since we hadn't seen our friends for two weeks. There wasn't many people there, since everyone was recovering from the night before, but I still had fun.

Yesterday we didn't really do much. We woke up, went to eat at Jimmy Johns, and went to Sears so Kody could get a new pair of work pants. Then later that day he went to work for a few hours, I made another bracelet I decided I would surprise him with dinner. I made spagehtti, since I can't make much else. He was really surprised and happy that I did that for him. So we settled down to eat dinner and afterwards we watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, since he's never seen it before.

One of the best parts of the weekend was playing with this little cutie. I think I posted about him before. Its the puppy at Kody's parents house. He's around 2 months now. I love him!

Kody and I after the funeral

I thought I would let you all have a good laugh and post this picture of my grandma's cat. He's 16 years old now and his whole life he's been really really fluffy. He's gotten so old that he can't reach and clean himself so his fur was getting really ratty and he had clumps of hair everywhere. My grandma just got him shaved, and I have to say he looks really funny! :P

Well, I hope you all had a great weekend and have a great week ahead!

What A Wonderful 4th of July Weekend

I had such a great 4th of July weekend! Boyfriend and I spent it with my family and we had such a good time.

Friday we left our apartment, after Kody got off work, and we on our way to my mom's house. We ate dinner with my mom and her boyfriend and then we went to go visit my grandparents and some of my other family at the campgrounds. We were going to go to the dive in to see Transformers, but it was way too packed. We hung out with my grandparents and some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins, for a couple hours, sitting around the campfire. It reminded me of how much fun I had as a kid when me and my sisters used to go camping with them.


Saturday we were suppose to go to my dad and step mom's 4th of July party but they had to cancel because my dad was sick for awhile and missed some days of work, so they didn't have the money to have the party. So we went and hung out at the campgrounds again. We were there almost all day, just hanging with my family and playing some games. We played a little Hillbilly Golf and my little sister and I won a few times and lost to my grandpa and uncle. Afterwards we went to bingo to see if we could win any money, but we lost. A single game was worth $80 and coverall was $440. We left the campgrounds to go watch the fireworks with my sister at the park. We were afraid of not getting a parking spot but we parked at the hospital, a few blocks away, and we were able to catch a shuttle bus that took us to the park, and back to our car after the fireworks were done. I love watching fireworks and I was sad I missed them last year, because of work, so I was excited to be able to see them this year. And it was the first fireworks show me and Kody have seen together. After the firworks we went back to my sisters and played a little beer pong with her and a few of her friends. All and all it was a great 4th of July and I loved spending it with Kody and my family.


Sunday we woke up early from my sisters and drove back to my mom's. Then we slept til about two. Before leaving to go back home we went to visit my dad and step mom since we haven't seen them since Easter. I'm really upset that they weren't able to have thier party because they haven't had a big party since I was in like 9th grade and it was so fun. They were going to have volleyball, slip and slides, fireworks, and a bonfire. They want to plan one for the end of the month and I told them we would be coming back August 1st for my family reunion so Dad said they might have it that day so we could be there. I really hope they do. And now were relaxing at home and watching tv :)

Weekend Recap & New Jewlery

Friday was like any other Friday night for me. I went out to party, just like I do every Friday night. I stay in all week, so Friday is really the only time I get out. Our usual party place, where our friends Ryan, Tyler, and Kyle live, was changed this week to my friend Kelly's house. Ryan went home this weekend and they are redoing the floors, so that was probably the reason. It was a lot of fun, to go someplace new for once. Unfortunately, after we went back to the house, with Tyler, boyfriend noticed he didn't have is phone, so after looking around the house we had to walk back to Kelly's. And of course, it wasn't there, but Tyler found it at the house after all. And luckly, Tyler was nice enough to give us a ride back to our apartment so we didn't have to make that walk as well. After making some mac and cheese, we called it a night.

Saturday night, I layed around, like I usually do, because I was so exhausted from the night before. Even though I was so tired, I woke up early, after boyfriend went to work. But I ended up taking a three hour nap before he got home. And then another, two hour nap, with him, after he got home. The highlight of my night was watching Princess Protection Program on Disney channel since I missed the premiere the night before. I enjoyed the movie, it was really good! After the movie we went to McDonald's since neither of us had ate all day and decided to go over to Wal-Mart to see what kind of beads they had. I ended up getting a set, which makes 2 necklaces, a bracelet, and a set of earrings. I also got a box of random ocean colored beads.

Today was a pretty uneventful day. Boyfriend wanted to grill out over at the guy's house, but Tyler said he already ate. Kyle was ready to after Ryan got home, but by that time boyfriend was already making some fried chicken and french fries, which were so good! It would have been nice to enjoy a beautiful day, for once, but that food was good too! The badside to the day, was our sink got a leak because of the garbage disposal. Boyfriend was able to control it and mopped up the mess, but we need to call the maintenace guy. Today I also made a couple peices of jewlery from the set I bought at Wal-Mart. I made one of the necklaces and the pair of earrings. The necklace took forever, but I think it turned out pretty good. I have some pictures and I apologize if there is fuzziness. I'm working on borrowing a camera to take better pictures so I can upload them to Etsy.

Well, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend =)

Weekend Recap & Another Birthday Party

Friday was my friend Wes' 20th birthday so they had a party for him over at the house. It was one of the most memorable parties boyfriend and I has ever attended because we carried the beer pong table for 13 straight games. We played for 3 1/2 hours! It was pretty much the only thing we did all night. We waited about an hour until we actually got to play, since the list was so long, but when we did finally get to play...wow! I think that may be a record in that house and that house has had a lot of parties with a lot of beer pong :P As much as I loved being part of the team that carried the table pretty much the entire night, I was sad I couldn't do much else. But, then again, I don't think anyone in our group can say that they have done that before :P I know me and boyfriend are a good team but we have never been that good!

Me and the Birthday Boy
(he was pretty drunk :P)

Friday was also payday for boyfriend so we finally had money to go buy some groceries. It had been about a month since we had been grocery shopping last. But luckily since its just the two of us we don't have to go very often. We usually go every two weeks, when he gets paid, but last pay day was pretty rough for us since rent was do and we were short on that. Thank goodness he got a pretty big check this week, so we put 300 in savings to save for rent, we got groceries, and we were even able to get some stuff for me to start my jewlery business. It was really hard picking out beads and stuff because I just didn't know where to start. Boyfriend gave me $60 to spend, and at first I went way over, so after putting some stuff back we settled on about $75 dollars worth of stuff, which half of that was just tools. I got some stuff to make a few pieces, so I'll be able to get more in a couple more weeks.

And I'm sure the next payday will be huge because boyfriend did great yesterday, earning over 100 dollars, and today he has done even earning closer to 200 dollars.

Yesterday I wasn't really up for doing much, because of the night before's antics. So I basically just laid around the house and talked on Twitter for most of the day. Boyfriend and I decided to not go out so when he got home we went to get some Jimmy Johns, which I had been craving, but unable to get, for a long time. After eating we pretty much just came home and went to bed.

I haven't even finished "Twilight" yet or started making jewlery. Thats on today's agenda, since the day is still young, along with doing the dishes and calling my dad for Father's Day. If I don't call him he'll get upset, since we don't get to see each other much. My parent's never got married and I never see my dad much, so we don't have a really close relationship. I haven't seen him since Easter, even though I went home not too long ago, I just didn't have time to see him.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and a great Father's Day =)

P.S. If you want to know more about the outfit I wore go over to my fashion blog where I did an outfit post on it.

My Bestie's 21st Birthday Celebration--Part Two

Friday a party was thrown for my best friend, Jackie, who turned 21 yesterday. And yesterday was the second part of her birthday celebration.

For dinner the girls and I went to dinner at Golden Corral. I wasn't planning on going because I didn't have money but Jackie insisted on paying for me. I felt bad because it was her birthday but what could I do? I couldn't say 'no' because she said it wouldn't be the same without me. But I was glad that I went because I love spending time with just my girlfriends and we had such a good time. We got a few stares from people because we were constantly laughing so loud.

After dinner we changed into our other dresses and took a bunch of pictures. We were then ready to hit the club. We went to the same place we went for my 21st birthday because every Saturday they have dollar drink nights. It was so much fun.

Jackie's first legal drink

Dakota, Porcha, Jackie, and I

After the club closed we headed over to my old house to party some more with the rest of our friends. It was fun up until Dakota's boyfriend decided he wanted to fight with my boyfriend over something stupid. We were all playing beer pong and I guess Kody said something about him being stupid and it really made him mad. I didn't hear what he said, though. It was such a ridiculous fight because they are both good friends and it was stupid for them to be fighting. Thank goodness they made up quickly.

Then for some reason, Kody decided he would start fighting with me. I know it was not really him, though. When he gets blackout drunk it's like he has an alter personality that comes out and is a real big jerk. We get home and I try and help him because it looks like he is going to get sick, and all he wants to do is pick a fight with me. But I love him dearly and I know that isn't really him talking so even though it upsets me at the time, I let it go. I really don't know how he got that drunk because when I was leaving the club I called him, and he sounded fine to me. He didn't even sound drunk at all. And he said he had been careful all night and that he had been watching how much he drank. Oh, well. Its done and over with and I'm over it. I know he was really trying not to get that way but sometimes it happens unexpectantly.

Then this morning he had to go into work for THREE HOURS when he isn't even suppose to go in on Sunday's anymore. He shouldn't even have drove because he woke up and was still drunk, but he couldn't get ahold of anyone to call in. I guess the only thing he did was sit in the back room and read his book the whole time. Which was probably best. I don't even know why they needed him in the first place because they had three other people opening and every other person in his department was schedualed for that day. Oh well...

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend =)

And for more of the outfit I wore visit my fashion blog Fashionable Frenzie!

My Bestie Has Turned 21 =)

I'm so excited that my best friend, Jackie, has finally turned 21. She no longer has to rely on me or anyone else to buy her alcohol! Last night we had a party for her over at my old house and it was so much fun. Jackie didn't know if she would end up having a good time because she thinks the guys that live there now don't really like her but I told her that she was going to have a blast because I was going to be there. If one of us isn't there we usually don't have the best time because there aren't many girls that hang out with our group so there aren't many girls that are over there on a regular basis and even when Dakota is there, she is the one to always get really drunk and she mostly is with the guys anyway (She is way more like a dude than she is a girl :P) But anyway, Jackie ended up having a really fun time, and the boys let her listen to what music she wanted, because they usually don't. And our other friends Porcha and Asia were also there, who are Jackie's new roommates. I'm really glad she had a good time because it was her 21st birthday so she had to have a good time :P

Jackie, the birthday girl

The birthday girl and I

Porcha, Dakota, me, and Jackie

Tonight we are all going out to dinner and then out to the club. I wasn't planning on going out to dinner with the group because I don't have any money to each but Jackie insisted that I go and she would pay. I really don't want her to because it is HER birthday but she insisted and told me that it was her birthday dinner and it wouldn't be the same without me so, I said ok, because I didn't want to offend her or make her upset on her birthday.

Then for the club were going to the same place we went for my birthday because every Saturday they have dollar drink night. I hate spending a fortune on drinks when we go out so we always go out with there are specials.

I also wanted to announce that I'm going to start making my own jewelry and sell it on Etsy. I wanted to blog about this earlier in the week but the power cord to my boyfriend's computer is no longer fixable so we have to wait until we have money to buy a new battery. Luckly, my friends John and Jeremy are coming up on Wednesday and they have my laptop so they are bringing that with them. They were suppose to come up this weekend for Jackie's birthday but were unable to.

Anyway, my boyfriend was talking about how he wanted to sell this cloth that one of his coworkers, at Sears, is selling. Its this amazing cloth (which goes by that name, or something like it) and Kody was able to clean his entire car with it and it looked like he had just gotten back from the car wash. All he did was take the cloth to it and it cleaned up all the water spots that were on the car. I thought he did go to the car wash but he said he didn't. So he want's to start selling that around at all the car businesses in town. It is originally to be used around the house but apparantly it can be used for other things as well.

While he was getting excited about selling this cloth, I was wondering what I could do to rake in some money. It doesn't look like I'm going to be able to find a job anytime soon because my car still needs fixed and then it needs tags and insurance, and by the time that happens our phones will probably be shut off because we haven't had the money to pay them in a couple months. So I got to thinking, and I thought of all the girls around the blogisphere that sell their homemade jewlery on Etsy so I thought, I should do that to. And Kody said he used to make and sell jewery with his brother, when they were younger and needed money, so he said they he would help me. We wen't to Micheal's just to get an idea of what kind of beads and stuff they had, so when Kody get's paid next week, were going to go back and buy some stuff. Hopefully we will have the money to do so, because I'm really excited to start this and start raking in some money myself.

So what do ya guys think? Do you think I could do it?

Nice Little Sunday Afternoon

I just love spending Sunday afternoons with Boyfriend. He now has every Sunday off work so we will have more great Sunday afternoons to spend together.

Kody's grandma was nice enough to send up some money, because we needed more to live on, and I didn't want to ask my mom for more than she was already giving us. So we were happy that we were able to go see UP after all. We were sad that we didn't have enough money to go this week.

First we went and got his his hair cut. I love his long shaggy hair, but it was getting way too long and it was starting to look like a mullet, so we got it cut. I was scared they would cut it too short, but they did good. It's still long and shaggy, but its not in his eyes, which was the point of getting it cut. After getting it cut we decided to walk around the mall, but we got into a little disagreement and had to leave and go out to the car to talk it out. And we made up, pretty quickly, just like we normally do. We just had a little disagreement, it was nothing too serious. I'm just glad we got it all worked out. So after our little misunderstanding we just decided to go to McDonalds and get some ice cream because we had half an hour until the movie started.

But then it was finally time to go see UP and I was so excited because I've been wanting to see this movie since I saw the preview at the Hannah Montana movie. It just looked so funny and cute, I couldn't wait to see it. And it defiantly exceeded my expectations. It was one of the cutest movies I've ever seen. I loved it. I highly recommend it to everyone of all ages. And after the movie we went to get ice cream from Wal Mart because I really wanted sprinkles on it, and Mcdonalds doesn't have sprinkles for their ice cream.

And now I'm just sitting at home, waiting for the series premier of Kendra on E! I love the Girls Next Door and Kendra is my favorite, so I'm so excited that she is getting her own show since she found love and is now getting married. I'm so happy and excited for her. It was defianatly the time for her to move out of the mansion and to experience life as she should. She has never been on her own before, so there is no better time than now for her to experience the great things in life. Like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and everything else. I love Kendra and I think she is so funny so I know I'm gonna love her new show.

Well, I hope everyone had a great weekend =)

Sunday Afternoon Shopping and Painted Nails

Yesterday boyfriend was telling me about this sandal sale at Sears (thats where he works) so I was excited that he offered to take me shopping for new shoes. When I got there, however, I didn't really see anything I wanted to get. Since I didn't find anything, he said we could go walk around the mall and look around there. Again, I didn't find anything so we just decided to go to Wal Mart so he could look for rollarblades. They didn't have any so we went to Meijer, just down the street. (For those of you who dont know, Meijer is a department store, like Wal Mart, but they are only located in a few states.) They, again, didn't have rollarblades so we just decided to walk around and see what kind of clearence items they had. Meijer is always good with their clearence deals. We should have just went there in the first place because we found a bunch of candles and candle holders to put around our apartment.

Candle .23
Plate 1.00



















Candles .90 each
Holders 1.30 each




















.80 each

.40 each

We also bought these cute Hannah Montana cups for .40 cents. I wanted one for myself and one for my friend, Jackie, who loves Hannah Montana just as much as I do :)

I also decided to re-paint my nails and experiement with different colors. I decided on half lime green and half hot pink for my nails and then on my toes I did that for my big toe nail and the rest of the nails just lime green. It was between lime green and blue or lime green and pink so I went with the pink. Here is the finished pictures :)

I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend! I unfortunaly did not get to really celebrate and go home but boyfriend and I are going home Wednesday to make up for it =)

Well, the Night Started Out Good...

This whole having our own apartment thing is so nice. We've been here for three weeks and it just keeps getting better, except for the fact of trying to pay for it, but we're getting by. Kody's paycheck was really good this week so he finally opened up a new bank account and stuck 300 in it to save for rent thats due soon. He only gets paid every two weeks so hopefully his next one will be just as good. He's still not getting as many hours as he wants but his boss did schedule him during the mornings next week which is good because thats when he will make the most money. I am really happy for him because this week he was starting to get depressed at the fact that he's having trouble paying for us to live on our own this summer, and me not being able to find a job yet. He's been especially upset about not getting the hours at work. He changed his availablity since were out of school, but he was getting even less hours at sucky times. But thank God, he's got better hours this coming week. Its still only 20 hours and only three days but at least they are at better times during the day. The only good thing about it is that he called off for next Saturday since we're going home for his brothers graduation party and they gave him Wednesday to Sunday off. So at least we can go home for a longer period of time. We don't get to go home much and we have both our familys to go see, so its nice to have more time to spend with them.

Anyway, its nice not having to put up with parties all the time, like it was when we lived at the house. Its nice just being able to go over there to hang out with our friends and then leave when we get tired and come home to a nice quiet apartment. Its nice to go to sleep and not having a raging party downstairs. Usually there is always so many people over at the house but they all drink like everyday during the week there all worn out by the time the weekend is here. So I got semi-dressed up in my cute black tank top and pink leggings and I did my hair in a scruncy side pony with my new cute pink earrings that i've been dying to wear out...only to find out that everyone either was not around because they were going home or they had other plans. So I was starting to get a little upset. Then Kody wanted to get a bottle of Jager to split between us and our friend Ryan. I was all up for this idea but I did not want it to be just us three drinking. That happened every single weekend last year and it got old real fast and I was super bored everytime. So we got to the house and it was just the three of us. Thank goodness though after we got back from a beer run that two of our other friends were waiting for us. And then some more people showed up. Within a couple hours there were more people there but not a huge amount. I was just glad I didn't get dressed up for no reason.

But I was also kind of upset because when I asked Jackie (my best friend) if she was going over to the house she said she was going to a party that was a street over but she will probably be over later. I told her I was mad cause I got dressed up and it seemed like it was for nothing so she told me that she would definatly be over to see me. Then I asked her if Dakota (my other best friend) was going with her, because we had been txting Dakota and she wasn't responding. She said yeah, she was. Now after she told me that they were both going to a party, I got kind of upset because its like they are always hanging out with each other but they never invite me to do anything anymore. Our plan was to hang out as much as we can this summer but I never get a txt from either of them asking if I want to do something. The only time I do is if its a typical Friday night and one of them asks if I'm going over to the house. I don't know, I just feel left out sometimes. Its like they automatically assume I'm with Kody, which 90% of the time I am because we live together. But thats the thing..we live together...so we are always with each other. Its good if we actually spend some time away from each other. And besides, what do they think I'm doing when he is at work. They know I don't have a job, yet, and my car is broke, so obviously I'm just sitting at my apartment, bored. Then there was that time Jackie was suppose to come over last Thursday to get caught up on Grey's Anatomy but she never txted me to say she was coming over. Then I found out she was watching the finale at Dakota's. But I let it all slide after Jackie told me we should hang out this afternoon and start drinking early and go to her friend's cookout. She was also suppose to get ahold of me, this morning after he dad took her to get her new car, so we could get some $1 flip flops at Old Navy, but I never got a txt or call from her. And I still havent. I mean I'm not really up for drinking and Kody wants to stay in tonight, but it would be nice to get out of this apartment and enjoy this beautiful day, also considering its Memorial Day Weekend.

Last night I also ended up getting into a fight with Kody because he drank way too much and just started a fight for no reason. The whole night was great and as soon as we started the walk back to the apartment, he started getting an attitude with me for no reason. He thought I was mad at him and I kept telling him I wasn't mad at him. When he drinks too much he takes things the wrong way and that is what he was doing. He was taking what I was saying the wrong way so he kept talking to me with an attitude and he kept saying I was trying to start a fight with him. Then he kept saying I was the one that was drunk and it was clearly the other way around. So then we made up before any serious fighting had started. But then he started up again as soon as we got back to the apartment. I don't even know what we were fighting over. He just wanted to fight. So first he turns all the lights off on me, and then knocks over my lava lamp on the counter, which knocks a bunch of stuff on the kitchen floor. So I ask him why he just did that and he's taking it the wrong way. So then he goes into the bedroom and I ask him if he set his alarm, which I know he didn't because his phone was still in the living room. So I'm yelling at him because he is being a real jerk and all he can do is laugh in myface. So then he gets up and I assume he's going to get his phone to set his alarm so I get up to find him and he is laying on the living room floor using his jeans as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Even though he has his pillows in the bedroom and there are extra blankets in the linen closet. So I tell him to get up and go to bed, because even though we are fighting I can't fall asleep alone, and he tells me no and he's still being a jerk. So I slap him because he really needs some sense slapped into him for the way he was acting. So he gets pissed of at me and picks me up and brings me to the bedroom and tries to throw me on the bed but I hold on to him really tight and I manage to get him turned over and I sit on him and I tell him to stop acting like he is.

From the day we started hanging out he's yelled at me and made me cry for no reason when he drinks to much. Fourtunally its gotten a lot better over the year and a half we have been together but he still starts fights and yells for no reason when he drinks too much. We've cut down the drinking to one day a week and he likes it that way so at least were making more progress. He only gets like this when he's had too much to drink, and last night he had a few jagerbombs too many. He gets upset everytime I'm gone and I come back and ask him how much he has had to drink, but I do it so we don't have a situation like this. Last night I didn't monitor his drinking as much as I should, but then again I shouldn't have to. He should be able to drink that much and not act that way. Either that, or he shouldn't drink that much. Either way, he simply should not act like that. I'm grateful that its gotten much much better in the past year and a half, but we still have a way to go. He is the one I know I will marry one day, but I told him I can't put up with that for the rest of my life, and I wont. But we made up, and we didn't go to bed angry at each other. I don't believe in doing that becaus I don't think its healthy for a relationship. Even if we do go to bed angry, we don't sleep in separate areas, because I don't think thats healthy either, and we wake up like nothing happened because we have had a chance to sleep on it and wake up in a better mood.

Now tonight were just going to stay, like we have been doing on Saturday nights, and just hang out together :)